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	1 Like sandpaper	2 One-ply Hell	3 Your average two-ply	4 Cottony-soft	5 George-Costanza-Draped-in-Velvet Soft
	1 No soap, no water, no paper towels, no hand blowers	2 Crappy powdered soap, freezing water, no paper towels/broken hand blowers	3 Byrnes-dorm-style foam soap, cool water, hand blowers/crappy paper towels	4 Liquid soap, warm water, absorbent paper towels/hand towels	5 Individually-wrapped hand soap, temperature-on-demand water, Tuxedoed attendant dries your hands with his breath
	1 The Dark Side of the Moon (way too dark) or the sun from the face of Mercury (way too bright)	2 A well-lit alley in a large city/Summer daylight/Flickering Lights	3 Dimly-lit Romantic Candlelight/Florescent light	4 Comfortably dim lighting	5 Light from the heavens – not too dark or bright; just right
	1 Like the bathroom in Trainspotting; You don’t want to be in here unless you have to.	2 Your average State Fair Porta-Potty/Water on the floor	3 Above-average Interstate Rest Area	4 Nice Hotel Lobby Restroom	5 “I could eat in here”!
	1 Feels like you’re in the middle of Times Square	2 Feels like you’re in the middle of a small parade	3 Chick-fil-a on a Saturday morning	4 Williams-Brice-Stadium-in-the-third-quarter Solitude	5 “I am the last man on earth!”
	1 Like a toilet seat of nails	2 “One-and-done”	3 You could read an average National Geographic Article comfortably	4 You could read a few chapters of Harry Potter comfortably	5 Camped out, watching Lord of the Rings (the Extended Versions) – like sitting on a cloud
	1 All the charm of an outhouse… in Deliverance	2 Less-than-pleasing rustic aesthetic	3 Bed-n-Breakfast Quaint	4 Dinner-at-High-Cotton	5 “This is how The Queen of England goes!"